How to soulfully and powerfully send someone for a “walk”

As we were about to order dessert, she kept on looking our way… I decided to ignore her but it was not possible!

I’ll tell you how it started.

See, my sister and her family (husband –he is a good one- and two adorable, lovable- and absolutely non-stop-chaos-producing-endless-duracell three year old twin boys) are visiting for three weeks. Yes, staying at our home…

We are out for an outing and when we stop for lunch, I am the assigned “orderer,” since they have limited English and I have an idea of what they like for food. The issue is that by now (2 1/2 weeks into their trip) I’m a little under-slept and over-stretched and my patience is not, let’s say, very available.

The lady at the counter does not seem to have been having a good week either and her level of friendliness is lacking…

When I start ordering she asked the usual questions: what type of cheese, bread, with mayo, ketchup…and how about veggies… I just can’t handle it and I ask her for a moment to re-group.

Super-silly I know, I can’t order another meal for 7 people with different tastes, more accurately called, pickiness! But, I have to!

I go out of the restaurant, ask for support from my husband and he comes in with me. This time I manage to order a decent meal, though, of course I forget things and make mistakes. All in all, we all ate.

Now, for dessert.

I realize that this “counter lady” is not helping my mood. I thought it was me, but when I mentioned it, my daughter and husband both confirm that her “attitude” is not great. That’s when it hits me: I tend to put stuff on myself too much, and didn’t realize that this woman is just not helpful…in fact she was irritable, inpatient and rude!!!

So, I decide to position myself at the counter so the other server can help me this time. She is smiling broadly while she helps the couple next to me and I definitely can use some of that.

As I am waiting the “other lady” asks: what would you like? And right there and then I take a stance and kindly tell her: “I am waiting for this lady to order, the ordering of our meal with you was challenging and I need some extra patience and help…which I did not get from you. Thanks but I’ll wait.”

Wow! That was very difficult, every cell in my body was screaming: “That is not kind, don’t say that, just let her help you even if she’s not treating you right, put up with it for Jezz’s sake, be reasonable… ”

I looked at my inner judge and did a raspberry to her. This time I was going to be assertive, feel empowered and ask for kindness. I had not done anything to deserve less.

You have no idea how many times I put up with unkind treatment, because I felt I had no option. How many times I stood there witnessing someone be rude to me or someone I love… I imagine that has happened to you too.

I don’t know how or why this day I decided to do it differently and I’m thrilled I DID! I was kind and clear, I asked for what I wanted, I stood on my space and let someone else know that what they were doing did not work for me!

I felt solid, clear, at peace, deserving and totally empowered!

I did have second thoughts, questioned myself and rechecked my attitude, and decided I was OK. I remained calm and kind stating my truth!

I truly and full heartedly invite you to do the same, ask for what you want and need.

Let’s make today an empowering day!
Sharing our truth with the world, stating:
No, thank you that doesn’t work for me…
And also,
I deeply appreciate your help and kindness!

Have an awesome soulful empowered day!

…and let me know how it goes, I love reading your stories!

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