As I was seating in the hard wooden bench I knew he was going to pick me…
So many emotions running through my body: concern, bordering on fear, tingling on my toes and fingers, fidgeting, anxiety, wanting to disappear…
How could I get my husband to agree to leave this place?
We are watching a performer at the Sterling Renaissance Festival. He’s describing his show as an “interactive performance” … and right there and then I knew I had to find a way to leave because he was going to pick me to come on stage and DO something.
See, I have a really strong belief –it has worked for me most of my life- that “if I stay in the background, if I am not too visible, I will remain safe.” Being vulnerable is no fun, it could lead to being hurt, criticized, rejected and abandoned. Not fun at all.
So I have made a deal with myself for about 40 years or so –since I was little- to have fun and not be seen!
But I knew he was going to pick me… I dreaded it. I wanted to leave and could not find a way to convince my husband to go. The performer was sharing how the show would go and my husband was having fun.
As I sat there I tried to be small and look down –that is a good tactic, you know, like when we were little: if I don’t see him, he definitely can not see me!
Well, he said to the crowd: “Don’t worry, I already picked the next actors” and came closer to our area. He asked me what was my husband’s name was. I thought: “Great! Safe. He got picked! Not me! Yaaay!
And then, he asked my husband for my name. I sang Victory too soon! He picked us both!!!
We were to be the character Cherubino, the Contessa’s confidant, in Figaro’s Opera. In this case Cherubino was an Ass (the animal). I was to be the head (wearing really nasty looking ass ears) and my husband the actually end of the beast (wearing an interesting collar with tail that resembled the assness of the animal). It was hilarious!!!
The most interesting part of this whole experience was my reaction! As I stood up from that safe, though hard wooden bench, I transformed: I felt confident, relaxed and even convinced that this was going to be FUN!!!
And… IT TRULY WAS!
I rose to the occasion. I confronted my fears and I decided (all this in a nanosecond) that I could do this!
I laughed whole-heartedly and made the audience laugh as well! And the best part…
Through out the day walking at the festival people stood and looked at me with a smiling face and said: “You and your husband were the Ass at the play, you did amazing, I laughed a lot! Thank you!”
I would have never thought that becoming an Ass could be so much fun! Not to mention receiving the wonderful feedback from the people laughing at us!
I want to remember to never underestimate the power of laughter and that being vulnerable can lead to feeling connected and have a different wonderful experience!
I invite you to take a risk, face your fears next time you are invited to be an ASS –or something equally challenging and FUN- and explore the ways You can share more of You with the world.
There are AMAZING adventures out there! Just take a leap and jump with me…
…and then write about it in the comments below, so we can Celebrate You together!
Leave A Response